Single vs. Marriage = Happiness vs. Torture

I’ve been to or been invited to at least 5 weddings already and the year aint over. Plus, just recently i was one of the best men in my best friends wedding. Beautiful ceremony and union. Also i think i might have low-key had the time of my life. Having all of my friends in one place mixed with some new friends felt like i was in undergrad again. It almost made me forget that I have issues with weddings.

Weddings are practically rough for me so I normally only go to get drunk. I'm happy for the 2 people connecting under the sight of God. But It’s almost like I'm toasting to something that is so far off in the distance for myself that its really not feasible. Although, part of me is fascinated with the thought of finding someone who truly gets me. Someone who’ll be the reason my heartbeats. That missing rib that men search a lifetime to find.… But what are the odds of that happening?

This is just a little bit of the inner conflict I deal with daily between Royce and da6’5. The romantic and the realist. Nice guy vs. The Asshole. But allow me to shine some light on my neurosis.  Walk with me down this path that i may show you how perception can be the fall of any good intention, shall we? Lets...

It starts with the uneasiness and awkward feel of dating. The main problem we have in dating is not the unknown, but it’s the fact that expectation seldomly matches reality. They're 2 parallels that never truly align. Almost like Big Luther's curl... never... really curled right. They branch off into different, yet current perceptions… expectation and reality. Expectation, though we try not to have it, is the dream of a positive outcome before the action occurs. Whereas reality is the earth shattering sound of that dream breaking like glass windows falling from a sky scraper.

You see, Expectation, again, though you try not to have it, is what is conjured up while you're getting dressed. You're thinking "Man this girl is gorgeous. I know she feeling me. Shes smart. Shes funny. This is gonna be a great date." Its the hope of holding hands at the restaurant, and the great conversation had throughout dinner… Reality is the fact that this woman is a shell of her former self because her heart is irretrievably broken because of her ex and she wouldn't know a good joke if it was on the tip of her fork. Reality is the fact that you have nothing in common with the hungry soul, void of personality that’s sitting in front of you. Expectation is the walk to the door, gentle laughs to kill the silence and the kiss, maybe more depending on if you talk yourself out of the drawers (see future post) at the end of the night… Reality is the voice in your head telling you to say “im going to the bathroom” then break for the nearest exit. Reality is pulling up to her house wishing you had never picked her up. Then, before her feet are planted firmly on the ground you drive off and delete her contact info.

The basic moral of this little informative essay if you must, is that Perception is an evil bitch and reality is her lonely, hatin’ ass  friend drinking up all the Ciroc in the VIP section. Thus, because of Reality, Expectation is the biggest deception since Christopher Columbus "discovered" America…
Fin.

Happiness or Euphoria?

Here’s a question I want all you to answer for me.

Happiness
Is it an illusion, or a real emotion? Romantic types like to believe so but Realist have a different look at it. To some happiness is not an emotion. It is just a feeling of euphoria. A simple act of your brain chemistry going in overdrive. That is why so many relationships fail when the honeymoon is over and the reality kicks in. You believe you have happiness when it truly doesn’t exist and it’s nothing more that a high that you receive, or just an advanced feeling of satisfaction.
But there are those of us who choose to believe that happiness is real and you can find it anywhere, at anytime, in any place. There are those who believe that happiness is more than a feeling or an emotion. Instead to these individuals it is an escape from reality for a short time. A brief evasion of the hatred and frivolous bullshit embedded in our society today. For example, when you get news that you are a winner for something you’ve been wanting, finding a hundred dollars, or best of all, hearing I love you from the one you’ve been dying to hear it from. At that moment, just that one moment, you aren’t thinking about why you failed this test or how am i going to pay this bill.
I myself am a victim of being the second type, a hopeless Romantic until the end. Also life has made me see the realism in ALL situation of the heart. Every time you get a toe stepped on, hear a no, or get turned away, you gain wisdom. Just like everything else in life. But I like to think we all have this side in us, and at times a little bit of realist, some more than others. We live in a cynical world full of persecution and sadness. Why not believe that there is a feeling you can get, that just for a moment, or a day, or a year, you don’t have to be hardened by life's inequities. Instead you feel overjoyed.
So tell me... Is there happiness or just euphoria, are you a Romantic or a Realist. I know what I think and which one I am… What about you?