Hey Granny

Hey Granny,

It’s me, Bundy. I hadn’t talked to you in a little while. Not like I normally do. How are you doing? I’m sure you are just fine walking around heaven all day. No more arthritis. No more pains. How’s Pawpo? Is Uncle Billy making everybody laugh like always? The house seemed a little empty without you two during the holidays. But your love and presence was still there. How many times has Aunt Essie cheated in Spades since you’ve been up there? She can’t be doing things like that in heaven now! I miss your smile and your laughter at my jokes. The family is good. Dionne is doing so good. Matthew is still lanky and talented as ever. Elijah is going off to college and I’m so proud but I’m going to miss him. Rachel and Jaydah are getting so big and I swear Jaydah’s becoming more and more like you every day. All she does is stay in your room whenever she’s over at the house now. It’s really amazing. Well I’m sure you know because you can see us all.

It’s been a little over a year since you left and I haven’t been to visit where you rest. I don’t think I’m strong enough for that just yet. I’m sorry I didn’t call to say Happy Birthday to you yesterday. Some things are still hard for me. It might sadden you to know I haven’t been praying everyday as I should either. What have I been doing? Ummm… Well… I know you always know when I’m lying so I’ll just be honest. I’ve been wasting my time. I know you always tell me to use my time wisely and make sure I’m focusing on what’s worth it. But I got distracted. Put my love, trust and emotions into fields that will never bear fruit. It’s so easy to do now a days. My mind is constantly scattered. I’ve been looking for distractions in every direction. Looking for something to blame for my short comings. Then when that doesn’t work I try to take on everybody else’s problems as my own and try to fix everything. Something else I told you I would try to stop doing, but I can’t. I will keep on trying to though. You probably know all of this already because you always do. You’ve always been able to make me feel bad when I’m messing up like no one else can. It’s probably why I’ve been feeling the way I have been. Why I’ve been struggling with my inner peace and happiness. Because deep down, I know how you would feel seeing how off task I was. But you know my heart. It’s too big for my own good. I got that from your daughter.

The promise I made you when you left still holds true. But it’s taking some time to get it done. I know you see everything I’ve been doing. Some things I hope you are proud of. Other things I know you aren’t and for that I am sorry. I can only imagine how you must feel when you see me slip into things I have no business doing. Things I know better than to do. It’s hard not having you here to steer me right when you see me going left.  But I know how much you smile when you see me do better. I’m just glad that there is more good than bad that you can witness now. Mom is doing great. We are still looking after her. Honestly she is stronger than I’ve ever known. So much more than me. Although sometimes I see her face and I know she’s thinking of you. Everybody is so much closer. I didn’t even think that was possible. I know you had something to do with that as well.

I’m sorry that I’m no closer to giving you any great grand kids or a granddaughter in Law. But you gotta talk to the big man up there for me. I’m sure he has something in store for me. But I know he will only deliver it to me when I get out of the way and stop blocking my blessings by wasting time with convenience. Oh Hey! You will be pleased to know that my writing is coming along. I’m finally back focused on that and I just have to stay that way. Stay focused on what’s important. I won’t let you down. Tell Uncle Billy his talks haven’t gone in vain and I’m still listening. It was tough losing you then him just a few months later. But I understand. He missed you that much he needed to follow. His work was done. It was time to rest and burying him on my birthday meant I will always share that date with his memory now, so that makes me smile. I hope I’m making you all proud. Well, I won’t hold you up and I’ll let you go now. I know you’ve probably got a lot planned this week because you love a good party! Tell everybody I said hello and I miss them. I’ll check in on you later, my G!

 Happy belated Birthday! I Love you Granny.

I miss you more than you will ever know. 

Open Up

There are a lot of beautiful people in the world. It’s a blessing when 2 can find each other and create their own happiness. They say everyone had that someone for them. If you look at the statistics and the numbers of males vs. females this is most like true. But there is a problem in all of this. We don’t know how to search and we go about it all wrong. I know you are probably reading this and thinking “Oh Lord. Yet another SINGLE person telling me what I need to do to find somebody.” Well... YOU GOT DAMN RIGHT! NO. I'm just playing. I'm not about to tell you what you are “supposed to do” like there is actually some rules and printed out guidelines for dating. This is life, not a damn classroom. You get no syllabus. Sorry. But I do want to try and get you out of your own way for a sec. Before you miss some great opportunities because you are too busy...
 



When I say we go about it wrong I don’t mean our approach. I mean the problem is us. We set the high goals and standards. Then we constantly say “Never settle”. Well if you have a list of things you “require” in a man you are going to have to eventually ”settle” for some cats and a knitting needle because you will definitely be waiting on your “Mr. Perfect” for a very long time... Unless there is some “Build a Mate” workshop in the mall I haven’t noticed. We put a requirement on everything. Age, education, religion, etc. it’s completely understandable. I wouldn’t want to date a person I couldn’t hold an educated conversation with. I wouldn’t want to be out with my girlfriend and people look at me in disgust like I’m R. Kelly chaperoning a high school prom. And I definitely don’t want to say “Thank God…” and my girl shouts back at me “THERE IS NO GOD!” Talk about an awkward silence that that would create.
But allow me to get back to my point. Some of us can get outlandish with these requests. I’ve been on dates where I’ve sat across from the girl in utter disbelief at her in-depth answer of “What do you look for in a man?” all of the blanks stares…



Some will give you the most elaborate and asinine answer imaginable. We forget the most important part. To be happy! So a person doesn’t meet all of your requirements but he/she is a great person. Why not give them a shot? Especially if that person is passionate about you. That means they will not waste their time and do what it takes to keep you happy with them. Everybody wants to be happy. No matter how they do it. Why not simplify some things in order to do so? Being too choosy will cause you to watch someone great walk right by because you can’t date a woman with a weave. Or you can’t date a man that doesn’t have 3 degrees. Who cares if she bought the hair? It’s hers now and some people can have 5 degrees and still be stupid. Stop overlooking the nice guys/girls. Like the one that texts you every morning to say just that or for you to have a great day that you look over? Or like the same one who comments on your pictures in a very nice way that you run and tell your friends “Girl look at this thirsty ass nigga.” Yeah, him. Or just the man you work with that offers to take you too lunch that you never say yes to because he doesn’t wear the best suits or drive the finest cars.
Look. I’m just saying, unless you like listening to Taylor swift in a dark apartment on a love seat by your lonesome, open up to possibilities.
Your dating life might not be so bad if you spent more time paying attention to what’s in front of you than complaining about how bad it is. Because in all actuality… it could be pretty good. You never know where your happiness lies if you don’t give yourself more wiggle room to find it. You’ll never understand the freedom and comfort of a king sized if you keep lying in the fixed position of a twin bed.
Did that analogy work?
Oh well.... You know what I'm trying to say, damnit.

UPDATE!!!

Hola, folks.

I’m home from work with this damned fever, or what have you, so I figured I might as well blog. All the technology in this world and we still don’t have a cure for the common cold. But whatever.
It’s been a while I know. Been kind of busy. We don’t need to get into all of that though. Let’s just jump into what we are here for. Just wanted to give you a brief update about the book(s) and other projects… ah ha! Thought I ben sitting around on my hands huh? Nope. Still been writing. AREN’T YOU PROUD?! No?...

Cool. Moving along.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately like “Royce, what’s up with the book?” well I will attempt to answer that now. The book is in editing. There have been some complications but that will be worked out. Don’t worry about that. I won’t have another update about that until closer to the end of the year. But now as you see I wrote earlier “Book(s)”. Ah yes. I have finished a second project. It’s a collection of short stories. I did 10 but I’ll probably just put 8 of them in it. Keep you posted with that one as well. I had to put the website on hold but I’m getting back on track with that as well. So until that’s done I’ll keep blogging.

I got a new laptop so I will be feeding you my randomness more now. Don’t you just love it?! But there is another project that is in the development stages. I’m trying to figure out if it will be a web story or another book. It will be a detective piece. Set in the 1920s-30s during the Harlem Renaissance because I am in love with that time period. I’ll post some ideas later and ask for your opinions and ideas. It will be my most serious work to date. Never wrote a suspense-thriller so this should be interesting.

Alright. I’ll probably have more updates for you as the holidays come around. Now it’s time for me to find some soup or something. I feel like a perfectly written death soliloquy. Only to not die, yet wait for death’s cold embrace in a never ending fantasy of love unrequited… too poetic? Yeah, I thought so too.

Until later. Peace, blessings and boudin sandwiches.

.....Why?

Seriously here’s a quick question. Why do we have to see negative in everything?

I still don’t understand. People will add a negative to anything someone might start. For instance, take today. I’m seeing a lot of people blacking their profile picture for Trayvon Martin until the verdict. Cool. I like it. I changed mine too. It’s a very nice gesture. Will it help or effect the trial in anyway? I really don’t believe it will but I would like to show support. I’m a person that if there is a way I can show support for something I will. Like maybe donate money or give blood. So of course something so small as changing my avatar on Instagram is no problem, if it’s something I support.

But of course, there are some who find fault in that. It’s a constitutional right to give your
opinion and speak on anything and in this day and age of social media people give their opinions about EVERYTHING. But for the love of God PLEASE DON'T DISAGREE. Then you are everything under the sun but a child of God. It’s really sad. People want to black their profile pic? Let them. It’s the same thing as last year when people wanted to take pictures in hoodies. Here is my question… At the end of the day, HOW does it affect you?

Are you mad now because you can't stalk the profile picture of someone you admire? Or does the color black disturb you THAT much? Support is support. I'm a Saints fan. I know wearing a black & gold shirt won't make us win. It sure didn't for a LONG time. But I'm going to wear one on game day for my support anyway.

A child is dead for no reason. His father won't ever hear his voice, won't ever see him grow to become a man. No parent wants to bury a child. And white or black that's all that matters. You attacking people’s mentality or choices on a day like today doesn’t feel minute to you? If you don’t want to black your picture, cool. Don’t. But saying negative things or making it a bigger issue about the people who do is childish and really petty. For once let something NOT be about you. Do you think Tracy Martin cares about what you disagree with or what you are arguing about on Social Media? I doubt it.

Just something to think about.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Box, The Myth, The Search Continues…

Hello Friends! I'm back once again to shine some light on a very hot topic often discussed and debated upon for years now in many forms, in many ways. Women always ask their male friends an age old question…

“What does good sex feel like for a man?” “What is good pussy?” “How do I know if I have it?”

Well these are questions that can be explained with a concept I like to call "The Narnia Effect." Now you may be asking yourself “Is he talking about the Narnia from the children’s books and movies? The one with the Lion, the Witch… Yes. Same Narnia. Don’t worry. I’ll explain. Come with me down this path of enlightenment.

Simply, it boils down to a number of variables that are taken into account while sexual congress is actually taking place. 1st, but not most importantly is the presentation. Does she look sexy? Is it shaven? Not saying that either of these things are must haves but they can help. Every man wants a woman they don’t mind leaving the light on for. Just pray it doesn’t smell funny. Nope. Flag on the play! Personal foul. Unnecessary odor on in play. Yellow Card! Penalty kick out of the bed.

Then there is the connection. Has there been a connection mentally, physically, emotionally hell even spiritually? Whichever tickles your fancy but sex is always that much better if there is a clear understood connection establish. I prefer the mental. There’s something about knowing that with one text message I have you ready and waiting for me and vice versa.

Now… We get to the “feel”. As humans its probably one of our favorite senses next to taste but that is a completely separate blog. Stay with me. The feel of her sex has its own set of variables attached when trying to solve for N. The moisture. How wet can and or does she get? This can be assisted by the man as well when knowing what you are doing. What is her Incubation temperature? The warmer the better! You find something that bakes at a balmy 93 degrees and you are in for a hot summer! Is she tight? Now this one is also debatable because believe it or not there are some men who don’t like a tight fit. I know. Same thing I said. But it’s true! Again… to each is own. But if I ever needed to give a tip or helpful hint it’s this ladies:

PLEASE GET YOUR KEGEL GAME UP!!

A woman who is on top of her kegel workouts is a woman who is ready for love, a picket fence and a dog. Take my word for it.

Next we have “her actions”. What does she do in bed that separates her from the rest? Can’t just lay there like a corpse. How does she sound? Is she a talker? Is she a GOOD talker? Don’t get in bed saying dumb shit just to say you a talker. “YES! YES! I’m climaxing! Climax with me!” This ain’t science class! How does she moan? Is it sexy and subtle? Slightly painful? Dramatic? Or is it a Rick Ross type grunter? Instantly not sexy. That’s a sure fire way become the topic of slander amongst boys. Is she touchy feely? Does she curse you out? There is nothing wrong with some bad mouthing here and there. Can she take it? Don’t claim you can handle anything a man can dish out then when he put it in you stiffen up like old white people when black people speak at work.

All these are a multitude of variables that let you know if you have in fact found Narnia. Now how do you find Narnia you may ask? Simple. You can’t "find" Narnia.... it finds you. For example, in the books each time the children stumbled upon Narnia it was by complete chance and randomness. The 1st encounter? They were playing hide and seek in a closet. This is just like good sex. You don’t know you are going to end up in some until you get there. The kids went from being locked away in a house to finding themselves in a mythical land of child-like joy and wonderment.... the EXACT feeling you get when you find good vag. If I had to sum up what good box feels like that would be how I describe it. “A mythical place of child-Like joy and wonderment.” Quote me on that.

Now them lil white kids spent their entire adult lives inside of Narnia frolicking amongst the snowy white lands. Patrolling and ruling the Narnian population. Presiding over all of the kingdom. Then one day, they found their way home. Come to find out back in reality they were only gone for a matter of minutes... EXACTLY like when you find good sex! You will think you have been in there working and living it up for hours when in fact you’ve really only been struggling for 3 minutes. Do you see similarities yet?? How do I know this? Well brothers and sisters it’s because I have seen Narnia with mine own eyes. It is glorious…

Now be careful with this information. You now know the signs and ways to determine the difference between superb and average box. Ladies if you do hold the keys to the gateway of Narnia please do NOT abuse your power. Many wars have been fought over good box. Many a life has been lost. You think it was the love of Helen that made ol’ dude get his brother’s army and attack Troy? Nah. Nothing but exemplary box. Ladies take care of and harness your power and fellas be safe. Because if not careful, the road to finding Narnia can easily turn into the Bridge to Terabithia.

Happy searching. I wish you well.

Dead Skin

What is it about the New Year that gives people hope that “THIS year is going to be my year”? I mean don’t get it wrong. I wish everybody a happy New Year and want all my people to do and be better in the new days coming. But let’s just be honest. How can you claim change when you bring in the New Year doing the same shit you were doing the year before last with the same person/people you said you were trying to lose in 2013? It’s asinine. Old habits and people who are bad in your life are like having dead skin. It’s just there but you don’t want to peel it off. Like a scab, an eyes sore that everybody sees. Your friends tell you to pick that but you don’t because it’s going to leave marks. The mark is already here, love. Maybe it is time that you make a resolution to stop lying to yourself. Let’s start there.

I'm not big on making resolutions, but i made a few promises to myself. I noticed that there a few things that I really need to do differently in order to prevent the dealings of last year to repeat themselves. I'm not going to go into a lot of them but a couple of the main ones I will. “Weed out the people in your life who aren’t good for you by choice or by force.” And “Make fewer mistakes by making smarter
decisions.” Detaching yourself from some things/someone you love maybe the hardest thing to do. Take that habit. The lying or drinking that you do too much of that your friends are scared for you about? Yeah, that. Or that girl. The one who treats you second fiddle. The one who you never know what side of her you are going to get? Yeah, her. Or that guy who you know is no good for you and only wants you around for few reasons but you love his ass none the less? Yeah, him. They gotta go. I know its tough, but don't be too scared to break the chains it may have on you. I'm here to tell you, that invisible chain? You hold the bolt cutters. You just won’t use them. Same as I. We just gotta stop lying to ourselves. That’s the worst thing we do. Sadly we all lie to ourselves about something.

Decisions. I know I gotta make better ones. 2012 was a clear example of that. I learned a lot, but I had to learn by trial and error. Not this time. Legal issues. No more of those. By far the most taxing thing I’ve ever dealt with. My life is too short and mean too much to me to spend another year not in control of it. But I will say it was an experience and a wakeup call that I needed. Newton’s 3 rd Law of Motion says “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” I translate this into saying be careful how you act because whatever you do can come back to you the same or worse than before. All the more reason to think before you act. I wish success and happiness for everybody. The same for all my people. Let’s do better and not keep
doing the same things from last year expecting different results this year. That’s with people, loved ones, and your preferences. Go ahead and peel off that dead skin.

Let go, let God.

Live more, talk Less.

Do better, to be better.

*Deuces*

Are You Willing to Change?

I’ve been blessed. My entire life I have been blessed. But sometimes I feel like I'm being skipped over in some ways, mainly the relationship field. I can’t seem to meet the right woman and I can’t seem to make heads or tails of why. I even wrote a book about love and finding it unexpectedly! I have friends who are the same way. So I had a talk with God and he told me some things about me that I needed to hear. Conversation went a little like this…

“Lord, I don’t understand. What am I doing wrong to keep meeting the wrong ones? Is it me Lord?” I asked sincerely. “Every time I feel like ‘She may be her’ something happens and I'm jarred from that dream. Maybe it’s—“

“Let me stop you right there, lil dude.“ He interrupted me. His voice was calm yet firm but was filled with more love than I’ve ever known. “Royce, you know I love you. I’ve shown you in my actions and my works how much I favor you. I'm still blessing you as we speak. But I can’t do everything for you. What I mean is that I'm not going to bless you with my daughter that I see fit for you when you are still wasting your time. I know what you want, need and deserve. I already have her in mind. She’s in the same position you are right now… waiting. But until you show me in your actions that you are ready for her, I can’t grant you that blessing because you will squander it. I put this in your hands. So go be the man I know you are and I will reward you.”

Now after that talk I’ve been thinking about where to start. Changes need to happen in order to see my true blessings come to me.  So with that being said it is time to get to work. In the past few years I’ve been faced with some serious trials. None stronger than which I couldn’t overcome, but each has taught me something. Something I didn’t know about myself but needed. My dreams are starting to unfold in my life. This chess game I’ve been playing is starting to tip in my favor. I’ve been blessed enough to have the right knights and bishops on my side. I’ve used my pawns strategically to take different Ls and Ws for me. But it’s hard to win the game with no queen on the board.

1 Corinthians 13:11 says “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” This is my favorite scripture. Change is scary. But the right changes aren’t. Time to take that long look in the mirror and accept the fact that maybe, just maybe, you aren’t there yet. You say that you care? Well show me. Stop pushing and pulling. Don’t continue to stretch what can’t be stretched any farther. Are you really willing to change?