Hey Granny

Hey Granny,

It’s me, Bundy. I hadn’t talked to you in a little while. Not like I normally do. How are you doing? I’m sure you are just fine walking around heaven all day. No more arthritis. No more pains. How’s Pawpo? Is Uncle Billy making everybody laugh like always? The house seemed a little empty without you two during the holidays. But your love and presence was still there. How many times has Aunt Essie cheated in Spades since you’ve been up there? She can’t be doing things like that in heaven now! I miss your smile and your laughter at my jokes. The family is good. Dionne is doing so good. Matthew is still lanky and talented as ever. Elijah is going off to college and I’m so proud but I’m going to miss him. Rachel and Jaydah are getting so big and I swear Jaydah’s becoming more and more like you every day. All she does is stay in your room whenever she’s over at the house now. It’s really amazing. Well I’m sure you know because you can see us all.

It’s been a little over a year since you left and I haven’t been to visit where you rest. I don’t think I’m strong enough for that just yet. I’m sorry I didn’t call to say Happy Birthday to you yesterday. Some things are still hard for me. It might sadden you to know I haven’t been praying everyday as I should either. What have I been doing? Ummm… Well… I know you always know when I’m lying so I’ll just be honest. I’ve been wasting my time. I know you always tell me to use my time wisely and make sure I’m focusing on what’s worth it. But I got distracted. Put my love, trust and emotions into fields that will never bear fruit. It’s so easy to do now a days. My mind is constantly scattered. I’ve been looking for distractions in every direction. Looking for something to blame for my short comings. Then when that doesn’t work I try to take on everybody else’s problems as my own and try to fix everything. Something else I told you I would try to stop doing, but I can’t. I will keep on trying to though. You probably know all of this already because you always do. You’ve always been able to make me feel bad when I’m messing up like no one else can. It’s probably why I’ve been feeling the way I have been. Why I’ve been struggling with my inner peace and happiness. Because deep down, I know how you would feel seeing how off task I was. But you know my heart. It’s too big for my own good. I got that from your daughter.

The promise I made you when you left still holds true. But it’s taking some time to get it done. I know you see everything I’ve been doing. Some things I hope you are proud of. Other things I know you aren’t and for that I am sorry. I can only imagine how you must feel when you see me slip into things I have no business doing. Things I know better than to do. It’s hard not having you here to steer me right when you see me going left.  But I know how much you smile when you see me do better. I’m just glad that there is more good than bad that you can witness now. Mom is doing great. We are still looking after her. Honestly she is stronger than I’ve ever known. So much more than me. Although sometimes I see her face and I know she’s thinking of you. Everybody is so much closer. I didn’t even think that was possible. I know you had something to do with that as well.

I’m sorry that I’m no closer to giving you any great grand kids or a granddaughter in Law. But you gotta talk to the big man up there for me. I’m sure he has something in store for me. But I know he will only deliver it to me when I get out of the way and stop blocking my blessings by wasting time with convenience. Oh Hey! You will be pleased to know that my writing is coming along. I’m finally back focused on that and I just have to stay that way. Stay focused on what’s important. I won’t let you down. Tell Uncle Billy his talks haven’t gone in vain and I’m still listening. It was tough losing you then him just a few months later. But I understand. He missed you that much he needed to follow. His work was done. It was time to rest and burying him on my birthday meant I will always share that date with his memory now, so that makes me smile. I hope I’m making you all proud. Well, I won’t hold you up and I’ll let you go now. I know you’ve probably got a lot planned this week because you love a good party! Tell everybody I said hello and I miss them. I’ll check in on you later, my G!

 Happy belated Birthday! I Love you Granny.

I miss you more than you will ever know. 

Open Up

There are a lot of beautiful people in the world. It’s a blessing when 2 can find each other and create their own happiness. They say everyone had that someone for them. If you look at the statistics and the numbers of males vs. females this is most like true. But there is a problem in all of this. We don’t know how to search and we go about it all wrong. I know you are probably reading this and thinking “Oh Lord. Yet another SINGLE person telling me what I need to do to find somebody.” Well... YOU GOT DAMN RIGHT! NO. I'm just playing. I'm not about to tell you what you are “supposed to do” like there is actually some rules and printed out guidelines for dating. This is life, not a damn classroom. You get no syllabus. Sorry. But I do want to try and get you out of your own way for a sec. Before you miss some great opportunities because you are too busy...
 



When I say we go about it wrong I don’t mean our approach. I mean the problem is us. We set the high goals and standards. Then we constantly say “Never settle”. Well if you have a list of things you “require” in a man you are going to have to eventually ”settle” for some cats and a knitting needle because you will definitely be waiting on your “Mr. Perfect” for a very long time... Unless there is some “Build a Mate” workshop in the mall I haven’t noticed. We put a requirement on everything. Age, education, religion, etc. it’s completely understandable. I wouldn’t want to date a person I couldn’t hold an educated conversation with. I wouldn’t want to be out with my girlfriend and people look at me in disgust like I’m R. Kelly chaperoning a high school prom. And I definitely don’t want to say “Thank God…” and my girl shouts back at me “THERE IS NO GOD!” Talk about an awkward silence that that would create.
But allow me to get back to my point. Some of us can get outlandish with these requests. I’ve been on dates where I’ve sat across from the girl in utter disbelief at her in-depth answer of “What do you look for in a man?” all of the blanks stares…



Some will give you the most elaborate and asinine answer imaginable. We forget the most important part. To be happy! So a person doesn’t meet all of your requirements but he/she is a great person. Why not give them a shot? Especially if that person is passionate about you. That means they will not waste their time and do what it takes to keep you happy with them. Everybody wants to be happy. No matter how they do it. Why not simplify some things in order to do so? Being too choosy will cause you to watch someone great walk right by because you can’t date a woman with a weave. Or you can’t date a man that doesn’t have 3 degrees. Who cares if she bought the hair? It’s hers now and some people can have 5 degrees and still be stupid. Stop overlooking the nice guys/girls. Like the one that texts you every morning to say just that or for you to have a great day that you look over? Or like the same one who comments on your pictures in a very nice way that you run and tell your friends “Girl look at this thirsty ass nigga.” Yeah, him. Or just the man you work with that offers to take you too lunch that you never say yes to because he doesn’t wear the best suits or drive the finest cars.
Look. I’m just saying, unless you like listening to Taylor swift in a dark apartment on a love seat by your lonesome, open up to possibilities.
Your dating life might not be so bad if you spent more time paying attention to what’s in front of you than complaining about how bad it is. Because in all actuality… it could be pretty good. You never know where your happiness lies if you don’t give yourself more wiggle room to find it. You’ll never understand the freedom and comfort of a king sized if you keep lying in the fixed position of a twin bed.
Did that analogy work?
Oh well.... You know what I'm trying to say, damnit.