The Chronicles of Narnia: The Box, The Myth, The Search Continues…

Hello Friends! I'm back once again to shine some light on a very hot topic often discussed and debated upon for years now in many forms, in many ways. Women always ask their male friends an age old question…

“What does good sex feel like for a man?” “What is good pussy?” “How do I know if I have it?”

Well these are questions that can be explained with a concept I like to call "The Narnia Effect." Now you may be asking yourself “Is he talking about the Narnia from the children’s books and movies? The one with the Lion, the Witch… Yes. Same Narnia. Don’t worry. I’ll explain. Come with me down this path of enlightenment.

Simply, it boils down to a number of variables that are taken into account while sexual congress is actually taking place. 1st, but not most importantly is the presentation. Does she look sexy? Is it shaven? Not saying that either of these things are must haves but they can help. Every man wants a woman they don’t mind leaving the light on for. Just pray it doesn’t smell funny. Nope. Flag on the play! Personal foul. Unnecessary odor on in play. Yellow Card! Penalty kick out of the bed.

Then there is the connection. Has there been a connection mentally, physically, emotionally hell even spiritually? Whichever tickles your fancy but sex is always that much better if there is a clear understood connection establish. I prefer the mental. There’s something about knowing that with one text message I have you ready and waiting for me and vice versa.

Now… We get to the “feel”. As humans its probably one of our favorite senses next to taste but that is a completely separate blog. Stay with me. The feel of her sex has its own set of variables attached when trying to solve for N. The moisture. How wet can and or does she get? This can be assisted by the man as well when knowing what you are doing. What is her Incubation temperature? The warmer the better! You find something that bakes at a balmy 93 degrees and you are in for a hot summer! Is she tight? Now this one is also debatable because believe it or not there are some men who don’t like a tight fit. I know. Same thing I said. But it’s true! Again… to each is own. But if I ever needed to give a tip or helpful hint it’s this ladies:

PLEASE GET YOUR KEGEL GAME UP!!

A woman who is on top of her kegel workouts is a woman who is ready for love, a picket fence and a dog. Take my word for it.

Next we have “her actions”. What does she do in bed that separates her from the rest? Can’t just lay there like a corpse. How does she sound? Is she a talker? Is she a GOOD talker? Don’t get in bed saying dumb shit just to say you a talker. “YES! YES! I’m climaxing! Climax with me!” This ain’t science class! How does she moan? Is it sexy and subtle? Slightly painful? Dramatic? Or is it a Rick Ross type grunter? Instantly not sexy. That’s a sure fire way become the topic of slander amongst boys. Is she touchy feely? Does she curse you out? There is nothing wrong with some bad mouthing here and there. Can she take it? Don’t claim you can handle anything a man can dish out then when he put it in you stiffen up like old white people when black people speak at work.

All these are a multitude of variables that let you know if you have in fact found Narnia. Now how do you find Narnia you may ask? Simple. You can’t "find" Narnia.... it finds you. For example, in the books each time the children stumbled upon Narnia it was by complete chance and randomness. The 1st encounter? They were playing hide and seek in a closet. This is just like good sex. You don’t know you are going to end up in some until you get there. The kids went from being locked away in a house to finding themselves in a mythical land of child-like joy and wonderment.... the EXACT feeling you get when you find good vag. If I had to sum up what good box feels like that would be how I describe it. “A mythical place of child-Like joy and wonderment.” Quote me on that.

Now them lil white kids spent their entire adult lives inside of Narnia frolicking amongst the snowy white lands. Patrolling and ruling the Narnian population. Presiding over all of the kingdom. Then one day, they found their way home. Come to find out back in reality they were only gone for a matter of minutes... EXACTLY like when you find good sex! You will think you have been in there working and living it up for hours when in fact you’ve really only been struggling for 3 minutes. Do you see similarities yet?? How do I know this? Well brothers and sisters it’s because I have seen Narnia with mine own eyes. It is glorious…

Now be careful with this information. You now know the signs and ways to determine the difference between superb and average box. Ladies if you do hold the keys to the gateway of Narnia please do NOT abuse your power. Many wars have been fought over good box. Many a life has been lost. You think it was the love of Helen that made ol’ dude get his brother’s army and attack Troy? Nah. Nothing but exemplary box. Ladies take care of and harness your power and fellas be safe. Because if not careful, the road to finding Narnia can easily turn into the Bridge to Terabithia.

Happy searching. I wish you well.

Dead Skin

What is it about the New Year that gives people hope that “THIS year is going to be my year”? I mean don’t get it wrong. I wish everybody a happy New Year and want all my people to do and be better in the new days coming. But let’s just be honest. How can you claim change when you bring in the New Year doing the same shit you were doing the year before last with the same person/people you said you were trying to lose in 2013? It’s asinine. Old habits and people who are bad in your life are like having dead skin. It’s just there but you don’t want to peel it off. Like a scab, an eyes sore that everybody sees. Your friends tell you to pick that but you don’t because it’s going to leave marks. The mark is already here, love. Maybe it is time that you make a resolution to stop lying to yourself. Let’s start there.

I'm not big on making resolutions, but i made a few promises to myself. I noticed that there a few things that I really need to do differently in order to prevent the dealings of last year to repeat themselves. I'm not going to go into a lot of them but a couple of the main ones I will. “Weed out the people in your life who aren’t good for you by choice or by force.” And “Make fewer mistakes by making smarter
decisions.” Detaching yourself from some things/someone you love maybe the hardest thing to do. Take that habit. The lying or drinking that you do too much of that your friends are scared for you about? Yeah, that. Or that girl. The one who treats you second fiddle. The one who you never know what side of her you are going to get? Yeah, her. Or that guy who you know is no good for you and only wants you around for few reasons but you love his ass none the less? Yeah, him. They gotta go. I know its tough, but don't be too scared to break the chains it may have on you. I'm here to tell you, that invisible chain? You hold the bolt cutters. You just won’t use them. Same as I. We just gotta stop lying to ourselves. That’s the worst thing we do. Sadly we all lie to ourselves about something.

Decisions. I know I gotta make better ones. 2012 was a clear example of that. I learned a lot, but I had to learn by trial and error. Not this time. Legal issues. No more of those. By far the most taxing thing I’ve ever dealt with. My life is too short and mean too much to me to spend another year not in control of it. But I will say it was an experience and a wakeup call that I needed. Newton’s 3 rd Law of Motion says “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” I translate this into saying be careful how you act because whatever you do can come back to you the same or worse than before. All the more reason to think before you act. I wish success and happiness for everybody. The same for all my people. Let’s do better and not keep
doing the same things from last year expecting different results this year. That’s with people, loved ones, and your preferences. Go ahead and peel off that dead skin.

Let go, let God.

Live more, talk Less.

Do better, to be better.

*Deuces*

Are You Willing to Change?

I’ve been blessed. My entire life I have been blessed. But sometimes I feel like I'm being skipped over in some ways, mainly the relationship field. I can’t seem to meet the right woman and I can’t seem to make heads or tails of why. I even wrote a book about love and finding it unexpectedly! I have friends who are the same way. So I had a talk with God and he told me some things about me that I needed to hear. Conversation went a little like this…

“Lord, I don’t understand. What am I doing wrong to keep meeting the wrong ones? Is it me Lord?” I asked sincerely. “Every time I feel like ‘She may be her’ something happens and I'm jarred from that dream. Maybe it’s—“

“Let me stop you right there, lil dude.“ He interrupted me. His voice was calm yet firm but was filled with more love than I’ve ever known. “Royce, you know I love you. I’ve shown you in my actions and my works how much I favor you. I'm still blessing you as we speak. But I can’t do everything for you. What I mean is that I'm not going to bless you with my daughter that I see fit for you when you are still wasting your time. I know what you want, need and deserve. I already have her in mind. She’s in the same position you are right now… waiting. But until you show me in your actions that you are ready for her, I can’t grant you that blessing because you will squander it. I put this in your hands. So go be the man I know you are and I will reward you.”

Now after that talk I’ve been thinking about where to start. Changes need to happen in order to see my true blessings come to me.  So with that being said it is time to get to work. In the past few years I’ve been faced with some serious trials. None stronger than which I couldn’t overcome, but each has taught me something. Something I didn’t know about myself but needed. My dreams are starting to unfold in my life. This chess game I’ve been playing is starting to tip in my favor. I’ve been blessed enough to have the right knights and bishops on my side. I’ve used my pawns strategically to take different Ls and Ws for me. But it’s hard to win the game with no queen on the board.

1 Corinthians 13:11 says “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” This is my favorite scripture. Change is scary. But the right changes aren’t. Time to take that long look in the mirror and accept the fact that maybe, just maybe, you aren’t there yet. You say that you care? Well show me. Stop pushing and pulling. Don’t continue to stretch what can’t be stretched any farther. Are you really willing to change?

What's Your Worth?

Ever felt disrespected? Ever felt like some people you care about don’t place you or treat you like you deserve to be treated? If you find yourself feeling this way then you should really stop and look at the person having the feelings. What are you doing to make sure that those feelings aren’t true? People are only going to give what they get. Most people will treat you exactly how you show them you deserve to be treated. If you are comfortable being second fiddle, then you will be treated as such. It’s your job to stand on what you feel you deserve and nobody else’s. This is simply called “knowing your worth.”

In a lifetime we will meet people who will be in our lives and who will love and respect us genuinely. They might be friends, family, coworkers, and girlfriends/boyfriends/spouses, etc. But through all of this there is one constant… You. You are the one who has been there through all YOUR hard times. YOUR successes. YOUR failures. How can anyone, other than who looks back at you in the mirror, tell or show you they know more of what you deserve than you? Impossible. Unless that’s what you put up with.

It really boils down to what we accept and from who we accept it. If you put up with it, you deserve it. Well at least that’s what it’s going to look like. God doesn’t want that for you and neither do I. Your manager continues to drop work on your desk that is way below your pay grade? Your love interest continues to choose to go out with his/her friends and see you when it’s convenient?  Family continues to use you? Yeah. Change it! Give those files back. Stop being available for the convenient times. Stop giving they asses shit they ask for! If every time I look around a family member had a hand out I’d move to Alaska. Straight up. KNOW YOUR WORTH!

Most importantly, don’t think you are alone in this issue. It happens to everyone especially in relationships. Don’t let someone make you second guess you or your heart. You should never give someone else that much power over you. But we make excuses for those we like/love. Our friends will tell us what we are doing wrong or whats wrong with that situation, but we won’t see it. We will turn a blind eye to anything other than what we want and believe we’ve found in that person. Even when we are completely wrong and you know deep down that you are giving a lot and receiving a little. Sound like you yet? Ok…

Now here is were the gut check comes and you don’t know where it comes from. Maybe a friend finally got through. Or maybe it is from some random epiphany or moment of complete clarity. Who knows. But it’s when you ask yourself “When am I going to finally get tired of giving my all and getting half of nothing?” I can’t tell you that. But that is normally when the change comes. You start to remember who you are. You stop praying to God to fix THEM and you start asking for remembrance of the person you used to be. Then, it begins to get easier. As long as you love yourself with an agape kind of love, no one can show you anything other than what you deserve. Your family might start appreciating you more. The right Job might come along because you shined through in that interview. The right person will see that light in you. Now, that 100% you have been giving will finally get you the reciprocity you deserve. All this because of what you already knew. How much you really are worth.

Fin.

Gravity

Everybody has one person that they love spending their time with on a constant basis. Whenever one or the other is free, you try to get away for lunch or a late night breakfast or something like that. You do it just because you really want to spend time with that person. It can be a feeling of infatuation or mutual appreciation of the others company. It may even be a genuine “like” factor there. But… you ever find yourself caught up in that person? Like something is pulling you faster than you can stop it? It’s called Gravity.

Gravity is defined as “a natural phenomenon by which physical bodies attract with a force proportional to their masses.” That is deep enough in itself.smh But when that happens, that’s when it gets hard. Say the feelings aren’t necessarily mutual, like you may feel a bit more strongly for them than they do for you. Now, that’s not to say they don’t appreciate the time with you, I’m merely saying they aren’t as far along in the infatuation as you are. You are now stuck thinking of that person constantly. You long to be near them. To see that smile; hold that hand. You’re caught in their Gravitational pull.

Simply saying, don’t let gravity catch you and pull you into to someone who isn’t willing to be pulled into yours. Gravity is tough. Hard to escape. It keeps you grounded and centered in that object. Sometimes this isn’t always bad. Sometimes you want to be there because that person can be warm, loving and giving. That’s a good space to be caught in. You can grow there. and I’m sure they feel the same about yours. But some are cold and dank. There’s no room to grow. No room for the warmth of a smile to fly through and it keeps you down. Your days are spent thinking about a person who isn’t thinking about you. That’s bad space. Not your fault though. You sometimes don’t know you are there until it’s too late. You are already stuck.

I’ve taken residence in several gravitation climates. The good ones go, and the bad ones are hard to escape. Hard because you want more from them. More than they are willing to give. Of course that makes you want to venture farther into that person, thus, sucking you deeper into that bad gravity. Trust me. When you fail, don’t feel bad. That is a gravity that has taken far better than you. Stay away because when you are stuck, you are stuck. Run away while you still can before your body gets too heavy to escape.
Trust me… you’d rather walk on your own weightless moon than be grounded inside a cold, dry gravity.

Royce.
      5/9/2012

Single vs. Marriage = Happiness vs. Torture

I’ve been to or been invited to at least 5 weddings already and the year aint over. Plus, just recently i was one of the best men in my best friends wedding. Beautiful ceremony and union. Also i think i might have low-key had the time of my life. Having all of my friends in one place mixed with some new friends felt like i was in undergrad again. It almost made me forget that I have issues with weddings.

Weddings are practically rough for me so I normally only go to get drunk. I'm happy for the 2 people connecting under the sight of God. But It’s almost like I'm toasting to something that is so far off in the distance for myself that its really not feasible. Although, part of me is fascinated with the thought of finding someone who truly gets me. Someone who’ll be the reason my heartbeats. That missing rib that men search a lifetime to find.… But what are the odds of that happening?

This is just a little bit of the inner conflict I deal with daily between Royce and da6’5. The romantic and the realist. Nice guy vs. The Asshole. But allow me to shine some light on my neurosis.  Walk with me down this path that i may show you how perception can be the fall of any good intention, shall we? Lets...

It starts with the uneasiness and awkward feel of dating. The main problem we have in dating is not the unknown, but it’s the fact that expectation seldomly matches reality. They're 2 parallels that never truly align. Almost like Big Luther's curl... never... really curled right. They branch off into different, yet current perceptions… expectation and reality. Expectation, though we try not to have it, is the dream of a positive outcome before the action occurs. Whereas reality is the earth shattering sound of that dream breaking like glass windows falling from a sky scraper.

You see, Expectation, again, though you try not to have it, is what is conjured up while you're getting dressed. You're thinking "Man this girl is gorgeous. I know she feeling me. Shes smart. Shes funny. This is gonna be a great date." Its the hope of holding hands at the restaurant, and the great conversation had throughout dinner… Reality is the fact that this woman is a shell of her former self because her heart is irretrievably broken because of her ex and she wouldn't know a good joke if it was on the tip of her fork. Reality is the fact that you have nothing in common with the hungry soul, void of personality that’s sitting in front of you. Expectation is the walk to the door, gentle laughs to kill the silence and the kiss, maybe more depending on if you talk yourself out of the drawers (see future post) at the end of the night… Reality is the voice in your head telling you to say “im going to the bathroom” then break for the nearest exit. Reality is pulling up to her house wishing you had never picked her up. Then, before her feet are planted firmly on the ground you drive off and delete her contact info.

The basic moral of this little informative essay if you must, is that Perception is an evil bitch and reality is her lonely, hatin’ ass  friend drinking up all the Ciroc in the VIP section. Thus, because of Reality, Expectation is the biggest deception since Christopher Columbus "discovered" America…
Fin.

Happiness or Euphoria?

Here’s a question I want all you to answer for me.

Happiness
Is it an illusion, or a real emotion? Romantic types like to believe so but Realist have a different look at it. To some happiness is not an emotion. It is just a feeling of euphoria. A simple act of your brain chemistry going in overdrive. That is why so many relationships fail when the honeymoon is over and the reality kicks in. You believe you have happiness when it truly doesn’t exist and it’s nothing more that a high that you receive, or just an advanced feeling of satisfaction.
But there are those of us who choose to believe that happiness is real and you can find it anywhere, at anytime, in any place. There are those who believe that happiness is more than a feeling or an emotion. Instead to these individuals it is an escape from reality for a short time. A brief evasion of the hatred and frivolous bullshit embedded in our society today. For example, when you get news that you are a winner for something you’ve been wanting, finding a hundred dollars, or best of all, hearing I love you from the one you’ve been dying to hear it from. At that moment, just that one moment, you aren’t thinking about why you failed this test or how am i going to pay this bill.
I myself am a victim of being the second type, a hopeless Romantic until the end. Also life has made me see the realism in ALL situation of the heart. Every time you get a toe stepped on, hear a no, or get turned away, you gain wisdom. Just like everything else in life. But I like to think we all have this side in us, and at times a little bit of realist, some more than others. We live in a cynical world full of persecution and sadness. Why not believe that there is a feeling you can get, that just for a moment, or a day, or a year, you don’t have to be hardened by life's inequities. Instead you feel overjoyed.
So tell me... Is there happiness or just euphoria, are you a Romantic or a Realist. I know what I think and which one I am… What about you?